I was perusing blogs the other day and stumbled upon Marriage Gems- little snippets of marriage advice.
In particular, I found an article titled We All Married the Wrong Person.
I LOVE this. The premise is simple: people spend so much time focusing on finding the “right” person to marry, and then spend their lives trying to validate that choice, that they put an unecessary amount of pressure on themselves. This “right person” myth means every little flaw in your partner (and every partner has flaws) reflects as a bad decision on your part to marry them.
The article goes on to claim that if we reverse our thinking and decide we married the wrong person, then we’re forced to go easier on them and ourselves in how we act in the relationship. Talk about lifting a huge weight off your shoulders. I’ve always believed the constraints of marriage are what set people up for failure- that the “roles” you are supposed to play can make you feel like there is something wrong with you and your spouse.
Anyway, it’s a good blog, and worth a read.